tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3020945049399041275.post4914742704809480589..comments2022-04-09T09:30:48.067-04:00Comments on A Fistful of Fire: 1.06Carradeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05431561739001270522noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3020945049399041275.post-9023187296209360272011-02-17T20:50:18.441-05:002011-02-17T20:50:18.441-05:00Will you stop being sorry?! Sheesh, I know what k...Will you stop being sorry?! Sheesh, I know what kind of effort these kinds of comments take! That's why the contest was only for 7. :D<br /><br />Double <em>about</em> is certainly an error. And the scissors sentence could be better worded…<br /><br />That His Majesty sentence definitely is a victim of editing, changing the sentence from one to another.<br /><br />And I <em>completely</em> forgot that "rebound" is its own word.<br /><br />Yeah, you've definitely hit the #7.<br /><br /><strong>Scylax: 7/7<br />Winner of contest 1: Scylax!<br />Congrats!</strong>Carradeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05431561739001270522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3020945049399041275.post-80843569768728196172011-02-17T20:28:57.312-05:002011-02-17T20:28:57.312-05:00I love these more conversational chapters- you rea...I love these more conversational chapters- you really build character. But you said you wanted 'fussy' so...<br /><br />"I glance about, but I haven't seen any guards about"<br /><br />"She slides me a little box across the table. A little pair of scissors sit inside,"<br /><br />Both of these have the same word repeated very close together. Would a different word be better instead of 'about' and 'little'?<br /><br />"but it's up to His Majesty if he has something he thinks you should try something else now" <br /><br />Something seems wrong here, like it's a different sentence at the end than at the start, if you know what I mean :)<br /><br />"He rebound the Crystal to magically enslave those elves—the felves—in Mother's day."<br /><br />This is possibly a UK thing, but I read this as 'rebound' as in 'bounce back' as opposed to 're-bound', which is how we would write what you meant.<br /><br />Sorry!Shadow Wolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14966325948815400181noreply@blogger.com